To become an outstanding leader, to effectively manage employees, empathize is not enough. Because in many cases, empathy can make leaders make bad decisions.
Adriana Puente is currently a consultant at The Rawls Group, a corporate succession strategy consulting firm in the US. Adriana's current job is to help business owners deal with issues that arise during the implementation of a legacy strategy, in order to maintain business value for the business.
In the article shared with Ellevate, the experience exchange network of female global experts, Adriana Puente analyzes the downside of empathy when leading a company as follows:
To strengthen internal cohesion, many leaders often say that they need to become more empathetic. Empathy here is the skill of recognizing and understanding the feelings and perspectives of others. In a leadership position, this skill is important, as you cannot effectively lead anyone if you do not understand them. You can only create momentum and influence when you know how your employees are feeling.
There are many reasons for experts to rate empathy as the core competitive element of leadership. Empathy boosts life satisfaction, emotional intelligence, and self-esteem. People with high empathy often have a large social network, feel full of life, and are more willing to contribute to community activities.
Empathy can lead to ill-informed decisions
Empathy can be a moral guide but lacks insight. Empathy sometimes pushes us to make bad choices. Through research, Paul Bloom – Professor of cognitive science and psychology at Yale University and author of Against Empathy, has found that empathy can distort people's decisions.
In his study, Paul Bloom had two groups of people listen to a boy with cancer describe his pain. One group was asked to identify and feel the boy. The other group was instructed to listen only to descriptions and limit the effects of their emotions as much as possible.
After listening to the same recording, each was asked to make a decision whether to place the boy on a preferred course of treatment by a team of specialists. With the emotional listening group, three-quarters of the participants decided to give the boy a special treatment, regardless of advice from medical professionals and the fact that the boy may have taken away the opportunity for treatment. special treatment of other patients. With the subjective listening group, only one-third of the participants made such a decision.
This study shows that altruism can motivate individuals to make decisions that could harm many people just to protect one person's interests. In leadership positions, empathy can cloud objective thinking, as this emotion can create bias in decisions.
Empathy can prevent diversity
Studies have found that people are more likely to empathize with those whose value systems are similar to their own. Even with animals, we have our own feelings.
Think of a puppy with big eyes and a chicken. Which animal would you be willing to make into a meal? Both of these animals are living creatures with an instinct to avoid danger and death, but we would choose to eat chicken more. Similarly, we are more likely to empathize when a neighbor loses his or her car than a stranger on the street.
With this same principle, we subconsciously often identify with colleagues who are similar to us. Leaders who are not alert will often prefer to give more favorable jobs, better positions to people who have many similarities with them.
Empathy can lead us to hiring or promoting the wrong people. If this continues, it will create an organization made up of like-minded people. When the diversity of views is absent, your company also lacks many perspectives and initiatives and solutions when dealing with problems.
Empathy can narrow judgment
It can be difficult to empathize with more than one or two people at a time. Right now, try taking the time to listen to the two people closest to you, feel the challenges they're facing, feel the emotions they're having, all at the same time. Very difficult isn't it? Sometimes this is even impossible.
The mind or heart simply cannot handle so many different emotions at once. Therefore, empathizing with one person already requires a lot of effort from you, the more difficult it will be to empathize with two people.
As leaders, we often need to consider the different perspectives and concerns of many people at once. If all of your decisions are based on empathy, you won't be able to make effective decisions.
Empathy can lead to depression
Accepting the afflictions and problems of others is very difficult. For a moment, imagine you are a doctor in an emergency room, treating victims after a traffic accident. Surrounding you are terrible wounds. You see people in pain, and even dying from their wounds. You see there even the wounds of those closest to you. Hour after hour, day in and day out. Paralysis is a common response to this.
You must turn off all your emotional states so that the doctor can treat all the wounds of the victim. Because being sensitive in some situations will lead to your main inner turmoil. A study in the US has shown that 60% health professionals often suffer from mental exhaustion. A third of them were so impacted that they had to take some time off to return to their jobs.
As a leader, you will also often see your members face difficult situations. They may have just lost a major customer. They may not get the promotion they want. They may be struggling with a tense conflict with a coworker. If we take on all their frustration, anger, and instability, we will burn out. Empathy will drain you.
Empathy is often fleeting
Empathy can lead us to fiery passion, but only for a moment. Studies have found that the energy that empathy gives us often disappears before we begin any meaningful work. Emotions often fade quickly, and social media is a clear example of this phenomenon.
A photo of a refugee child on the shores of Europe could spur millions of Facebook users to donate millions of dollars on the day the photo appeared. But in the following days, the crowd will be attracted to something else. And the refugee story quickly fell into oblivion. Very few cases sustain long-term actions.
Empathy is good, but it must be accompanied by real actions to make a real impact. Empathy without persistence, without objective analysis and corresponding action is often not very effective.
Managing Emotions with Leadership MSC
If empathy is not a necessary skill to guide emotional action, what is the right approach? The answer is MSC leadership: M - Mindfulness, S - Selflessness and C - Compassion.
Emotions are often dynamic energy, both in our bodies and in our minds. By remaining mindful, we become aware of our emotions as they arise in our body and mind. Awareness is the first step to managing emotions.
The natural human response to major emotions is denial or resistance. Trying to suppress emotions is like trying to suppress a pot of boiling water with a lid. Sometimes they will explode and burst the lid. And during that repressive effort, we run out of energy, our perspective narrows. Emotional resistance, whether in a positive or negative way, can only provide temporary comfort. In the long run, this resistance will give rise to feelings of disappointment, regret, or even shame about yourself.
Causes are emotions that are nourished by our response to them. The stronger you react, the more energy the emotions have to explode. So, taking a mindful approach is a shortcut so you can break free from your runaway or suppressed emotional reactions, when they arise.
To be able to cope with your emotions, you need courage and mental strength. Courage helps you accept any discomfort when raw emotions arise. And mental strength will help you stay in that uncomfortable state.
Compassion and vigilance are invaluable strengths for a leader, especially in difficult situations. More than accepting other people's feelings and problems, with awakening compassion you can help them work through their own problems and move on.
(Source: Ellevate)
